off with their head off with their head i say
AP - June 21, 2005 - The Pentagon has released a study it secretly commissioned at the end of 2004 which shows that U.S. soldiers' equipment fails to work if a large majority of Americans do not show adequate support when they are deployed, and that the ranks of deceased or killed opposing forces will actually be brought back to life by statements made by dissenting public figures like academics or politicians.
"What we're seeing is that well beyond the consequences of commitments made by the President or the army, who actually send our soldiers to war, is that the responsibility for their well-being, in reality, lies wholly with those people who oppose putting them in harm's way," said Department of Defense spokesperson Terry Catledge.
"If that study is correct, and I think it is, there is no reason it shouldn't be, after all, pacifists, anti-war protestors, all these people, are literally killing Americans every day in Iraq by not swearing their total allegiance to whatever our Army and our government wishes to do with them," said Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.
"This is a known known," he added.
While numerous Republican and pro-war commentators have long said that anti-war criticism may "embolden American's enemies," the Pentagon study is the first time it has been shown that dissent causes high-tech weaponry to fail, soldiers to miss their targets, and opposing forces to rise from the dead.
The Pentagon said it would now turn to the "high probability" that every criticism of secret detention centers or harsh, possibly torturous interrogation techniques causes soldiers to be critically wounded more often than mines or so-called improvised explosive devices (IEDs).
On the heels of the report came a statement by Fox News which announced that they would be requesting the Corporation for Public Broadcasting - which they called a "media organization free from the bonds of liberal elitism" - to research their supposition that the reason the U.S. has not found WMDs in Iraq is because only that percentage of the public which followed Fox broadcasts believed there were WMDs and that they had in fact been found following the Anglo-American invasion.
"The kind of evidence in the Pentagon report shows that with the faith of true patriots, and if only more Americans tuned out the liberal propaganda, we'd have found the WMDs by now," said the Fox statement.
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