and if you wouldn't mind i would like to blew
Get Your Harper's On:
In Kota Belud, Malaysia, a Kadazandusun Chief Bobolian urged people to stop dressing animals in costumes because doing so offends the spirits and could turn a longhouse to stone. A farmer in Nicktown, Pennsylvania, was rendered immobile when he fell through a barn floor and broke his thigh bone. The loud noise of his fall scared his cows, who trampled him to death. A sixty-million-year-old venomous mouse fossil was discovered by a Canadian, fifty new species of snail were discovered in Sri Lanka, and a Zamboni driver in Morristown, New Jersey, was charged with drunk Zamboni driving. In Indonesia, the Islamic Defenders Front unsuccessfully attempted to stop a transvestite beauty show. A woman in Hoogeveen, the Netherlands, turned one hundred and fifteen, a man in New Hampshire was arrested for hiding inside an outhouse tank, and a kangaroo was loose in Indiana.
The estimated number of hedgehogs in Britain was found to have dropped 20 percent since 2001, probably because tidy gardens alienate hedgehogs. It was discovered that killer jellyfish will swim away from the color red and that baby dolphins do not sleep...Iran sentenced a man to have his eyes surgically removed...Lightning struck a sleeping child's mattress in Kansas, sparked a wildfire in Alaska's interior, shocked a boy in New Hampshire through his video-game controller, killed both a golfer and a prisoner in Ohio, and struck the offices of the National Weather Service in Iowa. The Association of British Insurers estimated that global warming will result in $27 billion worth of storm damage annually by 2080. Scientists in India warned that the Himalayan glacier that feeds the Ganges River would probably melt before the end of this century, and in Tobe, Japan, a panther stood on its hind legs and clasped its paws together in the posture of prayer.
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