can it all be so simple

Denver Office
7340 E. Caley, Suite 215
Englewood, CO 80111

The Honorable Senator Wayne Allard:

Nice to hear from you again Senator; I realize that GayProofing your office and home is time-consuming.

I just wanted to write and let you know that I was struck by comments you made in a radio interview yesterday. It wasn't the hollowness of said comments (I myself have come to expect that from you, Senator, and once again, you have managed to deliver. Don't let any nattering nabob in the media say you don't bring home the bacon!), rather, it was the ignorance you displayed in the usage.

Just as teachers who compare Our President to Hitler are wrong - if we're going to make accurate historical comparisons, any one of the Roman Emperors during the decline would suffice, but if we're going to get a little crazy, a little loose, a little more contemporary, I'd say Baby Doc - you whiffed and whiffed bad when you accused your fellow Senator Russ Feingold of siding "with the terrorists."

I am pretty sure that "the terrorists" - be they generals in the Pentagon or death squads in Iraq or Al Qaeda - probably have very little use for Russ Feingold. This is because Senator Feingold is attempting to gather support for a parliamentary measure, a motion to censure President Bush for illegally spying on citizens of this country. I understand that nobody's going to be killed, even if the motion is passed.

But terrorists - and this is key - terrorists for the most part eschew all that I make a motion or I yield the remainder of my time or will there be order and stuff and make with the killing. This is what makes them terrorists. My guess is Senator Feingold is not heavily involved in the business of killing people.

Come to think of it - he is a United States Senator, and I know how you people are. Damn. Maybe I'm a little off-base here, then.

Well..anywho, please keep up the fine work of keeping our country safe from homos and motions of censure.


Very Sincerely Yours -

Dex
Denver, CO